Deadass: It’s Not Me, It’s You.

A few years ago, I was dumped.

Yep, that’s right — some man dumped me. It was December 27. And two days prior, I was fucking this man and his brains into oblivion.


It was the best we’d ever gotten along. We laughed. We drank wine. He fell asleep during my stories. His dog loved me. It was great.

So, imagine my surprise when I hit him up on some, “Hey, I’m returning my rental tonight like we discussed. Are you still picking me up?” type shit, and he responded with:

“Hey, I honestly forgot about that conversation, and actually, we’ve been trying this for three years. You’re a Pisces. I’m a Sagittarius. This isn’t going to work.”

I haven’t looked at a Sadge the same way since.

Though heartbreaking, the split taught me a lot. I’m sure I’ll go through a list another time (y’all know I like lists). But the most important lesson:

People are often more hung up on their own issues than they are on yours.

So, essentially, unless you’re a horrible or ridiculous person, someone flat-out rejecting you probably has more to do with them and their issues, than it does with you.

Bear in mind, this man and I had gone back and forth for three whole years. And he chose the most opportune time to bring up our astrological signs as his reason for cutting me off.

His issues.


Also his issues:

  • Commitment
  • Body dysmorphia
  • Kanye West complex(es)
  • Wanting a trophy girl due to low self-esteem
  • Identity issues

Possible causes of said issues:

  • His mom not telling him she loved him as a child
  • Him, in fact, being a Sagittarius
  • Him being a basic ass, California ass, fuckboy ass thottie
  • Etc.
Moral of this story:

When you’re rejected, or people cut you off, you should definitely assess the situation, but you should also be kind to yourself if you can’t quite put your finger on what went wrong.

Chances are, it was them, not you.

(Ohhhh, and in an attempt to redeem myself, let me share this tidbit:

Said man has since entered into a very serious relationship with a beautiful, and likely unsuspecting girl. He has hit me up, lurked, etc. throughout the years. He has also tried to meet me for tea (but opted out because he didn’t “want to be tempted”  *perpetual side eyes*). He even told me we’d make great parents, and talked about flying out to impregnate me … during the infancy of his girlfriend’s pregnancy.

But hey, I’m not that girl, and that’s just how the cookie crumbles.)

 

 

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